How Valuable is Your Family to You?

What Do You Think of Your Family?

When you think of Family who comes to mind? Are you a Parent? Do you think of your Partner or your Children? Or do you think of your own Parents; your siblings? Does your mind reach farther out, recalling generations of Ancestors? Is “Family” synonymous with “Joy” for you? Is this a painful subject for you? Sadly it is for a lot of people. Sometimes there’s reason for the feelings that our Families have failed us. Some Fathers and Mothers are not worthy of honor. Adult Children do, sometimes, have a case for the complaint that their life is a mess and their Family of Origin is largely to blame.

An Ancient Writer’s View

An ancient writer saw Family very differently. He wrote, “How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! It's like costly anointing oil flowing down head and beard, flowing down Aaron's beard, flowing down the collar of his priestly robes. It's like the dew on Mount Hermon flowing down the slopes of Zion. Yes, that's where God commands the blessing, ordains – establishes – eternal life.” (Psalm 133: 1 – 3 THE MESSAGE) To this Writer – King David of Israel – harmonious Families are “wonderful,” “beautiful.” But they’re more than that to him. And he describes the greater value of Family in religious terms. Families that are truly together are to one another like the “costly anointing oil” which symbolized the ancient Priest’s immersion in the power and presence of the Spirit of the Most High God. He sees the united Family as an extension of God’s beneficence. They are like the heavy dew of the great Mountain from which the waters of Jordan flowed, and the mist came, which made fertile the arid plains surrounding Jerusalem. Just as these favors are “blessings” commanded by God, the foundations of “eternal life,” so, in King David’s mind and heart, Families that “get along” are the foundation for good and lasting life; life which God intends for the “Human Family.”

Think about this.

Do you “get along” with your Brothers and Sisters – Parents or Children for that matter? Are you truly objective when you think about this?

Unfortunately we have a tendency to play the “blame game” when it comes to talk about Family. We remember hurtful or disappointing experiences. When things go wrong we often look back over our childhood to see how our Parents or other Family members “did us wrong.” The supposed experts are more than a little to blame for this. With “deterministic” assumptions guiding their analyses they often overstate their conclusions. And we follow along without thinking.

How be we try a little different approach?

1. First of all, let’s not be afraid to admit our own shortcomings.

2. Then let’s be just as courageous in overlooking so much that really does need to be forgotten. That teacup Mom gave you and Mary broke was not so valuable that your not speaking to her for 30 years is justifiable!

3. When something terrible, even criminal, has wedged its way between you and your Father, learn to forgive. If you need help with this very tough call, take a close look at Jesus. He’ll not only tell you what forgiveness is. He’ll demonstrate how it looks in practice.

4. Let’s then determine to look for the things about Family in our heritage that are “worthy of praise;” that endear us to one another and strengthen the bonds that hold us together.

Heritage Memories “Worthy of Praise!”

From earliest memories – and things I know about because others told me their stories – mine is a heritage woven within the Church and its Christian Community. For that I am doubly privileged! Then when I look outside of that most valuable, and fondly memorable aspect of my “growing up” years, there is so much to be proud of; to be thankful for. So much that has established and enriched my life.

The pioneer spirit shaped the lives of our Ancestors. Adventure compelled them to go beyond the familiar and seemingly safe. They paid a high price to live their dreams. Mothers had to leave the Home and work long hours to provide for their Children because tragedy left them without their Husband and provider. A firstborn Daughter had no choice but to step into the role of Homemaker vacated by the Mother/Provider. But the investment has proven to be the “seed” of our legacy.

Today, when I think of “Family,” I see mental snapshots of people whose stories I am proud to tell. I see courage. I see great pain, even tragedies, that call out that courage. I see a Dad who put his life on the line to serve as a Medic in the armed forces during World War 2, decorated for bravery, and injuries suffered in battle. His mental state would never be the same. But neither would his nobility be forgotten! I see entrepreneurs who tirelessly pursued “dreams,” undaunted by the disappointments, insisting that this Venture “will be different.” There are Grandparents raising Grandchildren because Daughters’ chronic illness or wrong choices will not cost their Grandchildren a nurturing Home and healthy upbringing “on their watch!” I see a Brother, limited by work injuries, using his time to help just about anyone who needs the help as often as he can despite his own challenges. I see a Pastor – as authentic a Pastor as any I know – serving the Master and his protégés faithfully, against formidable odds, leading a Church so diligently that Our Lord has been able to “establish” it as a dramatic demonstration of what happens when His people follow Him in the “unforced rhythms of Grace”! I see Dad’s drop everything to be by the bedside of a severely injured Child for as long as she needs him; or Senior Parents selling everything to move half way across the Continent to “be there” for a Daughter whose Husband has abandoned her and the Kids. I see Sons who, along with their lovely, gracious Wives, make me and their Mom proud! I see Grand-kids who’ve already broken virtually every curve on the Child Development Charts.

Shirley and I live far from most of our “Extended Family” today. Even all but one of our Sons and their Wives and Children are far away. But the bonds that hold us together are invaluable treasures and the things we share do indeed “bring Blessing that is true Life that will never end!”

You who are our Family! We are proud of you all and pray the Blessing of Shalom on you! Remembering what is noble in you all endears us to you. With the endearment the bonds that unite us are strengthened. And Our Lord is pleased. The floodgates are opened and His “Spirit” comes “within us” “commanding Blessing and establishing Life that never ends!” Making our “legacy” eternal …